Love

love not love

I been hurt so many times in my love life, that I was supposed to give up, but I don’t, no everyone is the same, even if we say that every single day.

I loved so much in the past, that now I don’t think I will ever feel that again, he was beautiful and good to me, I was young and full of believes and goals in life, expecting to do everything with him, I was wrong and i fall in his trap, and in the love I had for him, love can be blind,and can play against you.

I’m waiting to feel that again, maybe I’m starting feeling it, I’m not sure, I’m to scared to let be, and let go. My fault or his?

My last lover, was intense and deep, I wait for him to come back to my arms, I dream in be hold in his arms again, I stop my life to start our, and when finally he was here, everything was different, he disappoint me, he tear me apart, he toke my smile away.

Is been a while since him, but it stills hurts in the night, when I lay down in my empty bed.

I fight to forget, but never to forgive, deep down I wish was different, but from so many chances he used all, and is nothing left.

I love been in love, I believe I’ve got so much love to give and that makes me feel good I use to think that was enough, me been the only one given love, but was and wasn’t, it hurts when you know you can change your world just to make him happy, but he’s not able to do it.

In the end I realised self-love is even more important, that any type of love, I stop loving myself to love him and that wasn’t right, was so wrong!!

Please don’t ever do it.

hope

They don’t see me, but I do see them.

It hurts, burns, and bleeds inside of me, everything that we see affects who we are.

What is this life, where everyone hates everyone, where we judge by the book, and be judge?

I wish I had an answer, like a solution too, but I don’t, and you either I’m sure, it sucks let’s be realist.

 There is something that I wish would understand,why we here? Why we born in that exactly day? why people sadness makes us cry? why we love? why we get hurt?

 Why do we look the way we do? Have you ever thought about it?

 Cause I do, all the time, I love watching people, of course they don’t see me the way I see them, and I like that, I like to analyse every single person walk pass, or even who stands in the bus an early morning before another journey at work.

Trust me you will read some pretty interesting stuffs from them.

Someone once said, “that when we don’t know we been watch, that’s when our mask falls, and you just turn transparent like water.”

Is that true? I don’t know if people watch me, but I do, and is sad, or sometimes will just make me smile.

We try so hard to protect our image and hide our feelings that we forget to live. We have so many questions and we are unable to answer them.

I hope one day everything will just be explain.

Hello

I don’t know exactly from where to start, maybe I should start by talking about myself…

Not a lot to know about, but the little is, the more surprises will be.

I been happy in this life and also unhappy, I given my heart away so many times, and the last time I don’t think I got it back. I’ve done some amazing stuffs in this life and also some pretty bad stuffs, but who we are to be judging right now, right?

I wish I could change my past, or at least a part of it, if you ask me what I will change, I don’t think I’ve got a specific answer for it, but I would say pretty much everything, I think everyone thinks like that, right?